Prompt #4: “Write about a loss: something (or someone) that was part of your life, and isn’t anymore. The twist – Make today’s post the first in a three-post series.”
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PART 1: Lost Freedom of Choices
I skipped this prompt previously, primarily because my mind was so depressed by the loss I had a year ago. The painful memory teared me down, but I was lucky to get many wonderful supports from all around the world. I chose not to stress myself with the subject given and I finally gained the strength to go along with this challenge, with a slight twist to the story of a loss.
During my junior years back in school, I was blessed with the good skills in drawings and essay writings. I worshipped both classes, and I was favoured by the subject teachers. I jumped like a kid in a pool of candies; over any homework or projects given involving both. My friends were annoyed when I suggested ideas for Essay Competitions, or when I raised my hand enthusiastically for volunteers to paint pictures on school walls. During exams for both subjects, I’d raised my hand for extra blank papers – I wanted to give as much as I could during the limited time. I didn’t have many friends, except those who shared the same passion. It never bothered me for not being the popular kid.
In the senior year, we were briefed for our major classes for the next 2 years. I was informed by the school that they assigned me into Science class, and many students were overjoyed for getting the same. I screamed with a broken heart. I was in the worst shape ever. I went back home and cried again after reporting to my parents. They both were proud of my achievement in school (during that period of time, whoever gets into Science were labeled as “brainy”). I felt it was the worst day of my entire life. I tried sending appeal letters to change my course, but it was never approved (or no one really cares for that matter). I left with no choice but to move on and forget about my bristle paintbrushes.
After the final exam ended, the school board had given me the opportunity to participate in a career talk. It was organized for students to have better exposure to the ‘real-life world’ and helped them determine their choice of subjects in college. I signed up as a ‘veterinarian’ and my application was successful. I managed to gain 3 months experience working with zookeepers, learning medical terms and assisting senior vets to treat sick animals in our National Zoo.
Prior to the application for university, I had a second thought. Biology or medical wasn’t really my desire. I missed my stained watercolour palette or my box of hundred colour pencils. I missed writing for school magazines. I would never have imagined there were such careers in both, and societies confirmed it (or lied about it) – that I will never have a future or stable careers as an artist or writer. I was dictated to sign up for IT/Computer courses as they would bring more food on the plate. I had a rough time with my family too. I LOST MY FREEDOM OF CHOICE. FOR THE SECOND TIME.
Fast forward to now, I have worked for 8 years – none of them were related to art or writing.
But here I am still. Writing this challenge.