The Hollow Disappearance

April 2015 – Signifies practically 3 months that I have not been pouring my heart-bursting emotions and haywire-brain thoughts into this blog. So it’s absolutely legitimate when most people claimed that “New Year Resolution” was way too overrated (eventually made me realized that I’m encountering it now). Not that I deliberately kill the spirit (although I AM a bit of a witch), however, I observed I tend to get these familiar patterns:

  1. December – Enthusiast, ambitious, fresh resolution mood. Every.single.damn.year.
  2. Began to list down sets of exciting goals (with the urge to break down into manageable action plans).
  3. January – Started executing the chunk of plans.
  4. Challenged yourself not to fall apart from the goals within a short month of February.
  5. Jumped out of your skin realizing it was already March.
  6. Dishearten, hating yourself and feeling despair with the unsettled plans.
  7. Emotional. Isolation. Loud music intensively.
  8. Seeks out for motivational links and loads of self-help books.
  9. Over-thinking – frustrated, exhausted.
  10. Out of nowhere, positive energy punched-in unexpectedly. True story.
  11. Flashback of what went wrong during the first quarter.
  12. Have the mindset to re-evaluate the goals again in April.

So here I am.

About an hour ago before writing this post, I have replaced my browser’s bookmark bar with new favorite reads. While doing so, the thought of abandonment of my blog just struck. To be more precise, I was just dawdling again and again – and when writing this post, my heart screamed, “Look at yourself, procrastinator!

The truth was, plenty of subjects ran through my mind. Dealing with many tiresome experiences in the first quarter, I have lost the vibe to continue writing again; dragging my feet off-track. Oftentimes, I spent doing meaningless things, hours of MMO gaming, and eventually diverged into the biggest couch potato ever.

Am I living in depression? Maybe, but there are some tips to cope with it (shared by a friend of mine), especially for introverts. I have practiced some of the given tips – neglecting the ultimate attributes, which is: ‘be kind to yourself’ and ‘self-comfort’ (yes, I’m a fat sucker on this one). While currently reading articles about ‘reinventing yourself’, I would consider these tips and give myself some extra time without any pressure.

In subsequent posts, I have been thinking to write about topics which involve procrastination, past trip experiences (to Bali and Western Australia), and perhaps, stirring a bit about the almost stagnant “Writing” journey from initial plan this year.

How about you? Have you been procrastinating? Do you get diverted from your goals? Do share some of your ‘roller-coaster’ experience.


“The death of Success begins with a series of symptoms called Excuses.” – Brendon Burchard

Currently Listening: Dear and the Headlights – Daysleeper

4 thoughts on “The Hollow Disappearance

    • figurynna says:

      Hey hey, that’s great! Good for you! Getting back on track surely takes hell lots of efforts, courage and patience (looks who’s talking haha!). I wish the best for you too! 🙂

  1. C.C. says:

    Yes, I think life is a progression of two steps forward, three back….but as long as the overall trajectory is somewhat in a forward direction then we’re doing okay, right? 😉

    • figurynna says:

      Indeed, although it should be vice versa, but it ain’t easy to move forward when all the heaviest baggage are tying you down. A small baby steps (even by crawling) would be acceptable at this point I guess 🙂

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