I woke up every day with the alarm clock hits the snooze button 3 times at bare minimum, spent relatively 12 hours at work with my eyeballs glued to the computer screen, plus the dreadful back and forth commuting. I returned home with tuckered veins, and the endmost thing to do was to stare at another laptop or television screen. Usual recurrent activities later includes: shower, dinner, house chores, and procrastination from exercising once the clock strikes 10 PM. Flipped a book about 3 pages and gambled to acquire quality sleep within 7 hours ranged. The sun rise again for the next day and the same cycle repeats. On day to day basis, it became collectively motionless, sluggish and mundane of ‘same old same old’ routines.
“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different?” – C.S Lewis
In between, as I let the ordinary days passed, I may have felt that I lost the freedom of time, and started questioning the importance of my existence into the world. All of us have that ‘in-between-mood swings-of-what-should-I-do-with-my-life’ kind of day. To keep myself motivated, I ‘stalked’ the life of these people – the successful, the rich, the kind, the perfect traits.
For having a fulfillment of seeing something visible, I asked myself, “Do I need to jump from the cliff into the ocean or do I prefer to just lying down on the comfy pillows?” Is it necessary to take a giant leap of challenges or is it best to just stay in the safe, comfort zone? Ultimately, it winds down to the question of, “What is the purpose of you doing all of that?”
Along the road, we missed the point of the journey. Life was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or to dance while the music was being played. And some may claimed that you should dance in the rain, and not waiting for the storm to pass.
On 2-Nov-14, I woke up to the usual routine again, except that the date marked 3 decades of my Birthday. I anticipated the past in larger spectrum. I reminisced back to when I was just finishing school in the capital city, got my driving license after second attempt, juggled Part-Time job with Full-Time studies, graduated from a University in Southern state, attended the first job interview with an Irish company, bought a first car, managed Full-Time job with Part-Time studies, caught up in the spiderweb of massive debts, and stranded in hospitals for several times.
Soon after, I recalled moments where I traveled to other countries, worked in 5 different companies and bought a new house. Then I had deeper feelings when I lost a child of my own, when I traveled alone and living in uncertainties. Alongside, I met plenty of people within different phases of my life; some were blessings, and others ended up as lesson learnt.
You may say personalities and appearances would portray the differences, I would say that the life adventure wins the battle. Experiences changed people’s lives in many possible ways.
Would I make a change for the next decade? Decisively, I would glean brighter colors from the palette to continue painting my abstract life; likewise preparing for the darker colors that may destroy the piece and neccesitates to start over on a new canvas. I would surround myself with the beauty of nature which never fails to lavish upon the sense of gratification – that you still have a life, and that your heart is still beating.